A Christmas thought

Happy Birthday and thank You for coming and dwelling among us and making the way that we can now live in unending fellowship with You. As I was reading this morning I came across 1 John 3:23 and to paraphrase it simply – trust Jesus and love others. It occurred to me that I like these simple yet insightful sayings because for me they are easy to remember and I need things to be simple. To be able to sum up, in just a few words, just what it is that You ask for, what brings You honor and delights You. Now these words may be simple but the living them out requires more that is humanly possible – but then You've taken care of that too – through Your Spirit, Who dwells within us. The only thing I can say is . . . WOW!

“. . . the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day”

How remarkable, that before the fall God walked in the garden with man. It appears to be a habit of daily, continual fellowship that was up close and personal; apparently one of relaxed, informal and uninhibited conversation.  It was God's desire for this to take place and He would – somehow – make the reality of His presence known to Adam and Eve. And then we blew it – through our own selfishness but then He made a way . . .the way. In Jesus, He once again walked in the garden with man. Now we can live eternally in fellowship with Him Who loves us and desires to be in relationship with us. How amazing it that!

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation (Hab 3:18)

As I was reading through some posts and articles this morning, I found myself becoming overwhelmed by the direction this world is heading. So much of what the Bible foretold, is happening right before my eyes. While that means we are just that much closer to His return, it can still be a little unnerving.  I happened upon a music video of “I'm still Yours” by Kutless. The following statement was at the end. I'm so grateful to know that He is and will always be sovereign and that nothing in heaven or earth will ever separate me from His love.

Worship is my response to what I value most.

What I value most is God.

I was made by Him and for Him.

He is awesome beyond comprehension

I exist for the purpose of reflecting back to God His limitless glory.

I will exalt Him with my mouth & with my life 

   for He is my hope, my joy, my strength and my salvation.

The LORD will command His lovingkindness . . . And in the night His song shall be with me - A prayer to the God of my life. (Psa 42:8)

I woke up, very briefly, last night with this prayer in my mind. I can remember drifting back to sleep with this prayer and thinking – I need to remember this.   I just now remembered it:

Jesus, alone, I trust in You -

that whatever may come, You'll see me through.

It's so simple, yet such a comfort to know that even in sleep His Spirit is speaking.

on prayer . . .

Abba, Father, reading about prayer this morning and how Jesus spent long periods in prayer, in the garden praying all night while His disciples slept. I'm sure I would have slept and I'm amazed that He could pray all night. I seem to run out of things to pray about or feel like I'm being repetitive, that You've heard it before or my mind starts to drift. To be so intentional and yet so natural. Father, I want to be able to pray without ceasing, to pray from the heart – expecting and trusting in You to act in ways that fulfill Your plans and purposes. I have a general idea but the specifics are often a mystery. And quite often my flesh gets in the way. My basic understanding is that prayer is simply conversing with You – and ideally it's a two way conversation, meaning I need to take the time to listen. I really love it when You speak to me. How amazing that You have made a way for us to come into Your presence and “be” with You.

W O W!

Do not fear . . .

So he answered, "Do not fear, for those who [are] with us [are] more than those who [are] with them." 2 Kings 6:16

This scripture and the story of Elisha in the confrontation with the King of Syria was shared at the worship concert last night and I found myself sighing a sigh of relief and rejoicing. As I stood in the midst of that huge auditorium, filled with the sounds of worship and praise, with hands and hearts lifted up to the One Whose Name is above all names – I could almost see the heavenly hosts and hear them joining in the sweet sound of abandon to our King. What do I have to fear and who can come against me. I know the One Who goes before and behind me, Who has promised never to leave me, the One Who spoke the world into being, the One Who has called me by name, the One whose Spirit dwells within me. For a moment, it was if I had stepped into eternity. Our God is the one and only Awesome God, may His name be ever praised. Hallelujah and amen!

Some trust in chariots . . .

ABBA, well the people have spoken, but the message is a divided one. I feel such a sense of sadness but know that You are still on Your throne and have this all in Your hands. I believe Your judgment against America has begun, that we have lived to long in prosperity without acknowledging You as Lord. We've taken for granted the blessings You have poured out and rather than offer thanks, have squandered them and grown complacent; filled with pride in our own abilities rather than a reliance upon You as the source of all that we have been given. But I also know, that as Your children, You will continue to provide for those who call upon Your name, who put their trust in You. In the midst of the storm, You are the anchor that holds, we are not alone, You are in the boat with us, and will get us safely to the other side.

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God. 

On being His . . .

Abba, I have been very aware over the last few days of how much my life needs to be a reflection of You, that those who see me might see a difference in me, a difference which comes from my life in You. This world is not my home, but a temporary dwelling and an opportunity to reveal to others that the secret to life, a successful and satisfying life, is found in You; that You have and will continue to provide all that we need to live life fully, without fear or shame, in joyful abandon to You. That You can be trusted completely to cause all things – ALL things – to work together for our good when we simply trust You and allow You to be the Lord of our lives. Therefore, dearest Lord, I seek Your face, Your will, Your purpose for my life; that Your plans and purposes will be accomplished in and through me. . . this day and every day. 

A reflection and a prayer

Abba, Father – Tomorrow is election day. Either way, Lord, we need You and we desperately need revival in this country. Stir up Your people, and cause us to be a witness to the world of just Who You are, of Your great love and how life in You is the greatest joy that can be found, Your peace Your power Your great love can move mountains and restore the brokenhearted.

Be anxious for nothing – I hear You speaking these words to my heart and mind. Through Your word, You spoke the world into being and through Your word You speak peace, a peace which passes all understanding, I want to walk in that peace, to live and abide in Your presence, to be an instrument of Your grace - I choose You Lord, over all the voices, over all the distractions and cares of this life - I choose You because You have chosen me. In You my life is complete. Whatever lies ahead, I know that my security is in You.

A morning muse - basic stuff 101

Thinking this morning: in the old testament we hear of God's chesed, His love and mercy, mercy being NOT getting what we deserve – which is His judgment for our sin against Him. He made a provision, a covering, a temporary fix to our sin problem. In the new testament we find His grace, His charis – getting what we don't deserve, which is His forgiveness – His sufficiency in restoring us to right relationship with Him. They are like two sides of a coin – where love is the common thread and binds them together. God's love has never changed and has always been present.

Come, and let us return to the Lord . . .

For He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up.

I read an article this morning which made a distinction between the Hebraic term teshuvah/returning to the Lord and repentance/regret or sorrow for an action or to change one's mind. I was thinking of Adam and Eve. When they realized their sin, they hid from God, which is what our sin usually does – causes us to hide. We regret our actions and while this may lead to a change, it can also be a trap. The change comes when we return to the Lord and is the only way out of the trap. In His presence there is forgiveness and there is restoration. Change can happen when sin is acknowledged, brought into the light of God's love. His mercy and grace are greater than our sin. Sorrow and regret can be a trap, however, unless they lead to returning. The enemy can use our sorrow and regret to take away hope and creates despair – if we see only the sin and not the way out. Judas' sorrow lead to his destruction, he literally could not live with his sin. Peter's sorrow lead to new life, a changed life. His sorrow lead him back to the One who loved him, forgave him and restored him to fellowship. And I believe - I know - this fellowship was now on a new level of intimacy and trust and adoration that came from the brokenness of sin. 

For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: "In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength." 

Morning musings on John 16:16-33

Reading in Ray Stedman this morning – about our need to understand “why” and our belief that if we understand, we will have peace. We want it to make sense. But faith calls us to something deeper than our understanding. There are times when life just doesn't make sense, when we think it's unfair – but it's in those times that we have a choice – to become confused, uncertain and frustrated or we can simply trust You. I know You are able to work in either choice, but our peace comes in trusting You – that You have it all in Your hands and that Your purposes are always for our good.

For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes. (Romans 10:4)

A morning rant:

There sure is a lot of discussion over this and some of it seems almost hostile or perhaps I'm overly sensitive but when people make comments calling Christianity a “pagan religion”, I get a little put off. I do understand there has been a lot of error within the church over the centuries, mostly because it's composed of men who are  - after all – sinners, we have an enemy who wants to destroy us and a world that's trying to mold us into it's own likeness BUT I also see some error within the “messianic community” as well and I wish we could all just stop judging each other.

I have always been drawn toward my Hebraic roots – long before it became so popular and I really do appreciate all that I've learned and believe it has been of great benefit in my spiritual growth. As the saying goes - The New is in the Old Concealed, the Old is in the New Revealed – to really understand, you need both. Someone once said it's like walking into a dark room and turning on a light. I have found this to be true.

The problem for me is when I see something being added to the finished work of Christ – a belief in Jesus plus something. Is there benefit in observing Sabbath? Absolutely – it certainly demonstrates for us the blessing we have of being able to “rest in the Lord” but it is not necessary as a basis for my relationship with the Father. God's law has not changed, but how it is applied has – we are to love God and to love each other – and that has never changed - But we no longer have to do it through a sacrificial system – Christ took care of all that, He is the fulfillment and we can now rest in what He has done.

This does not mean that I can go out and do what ever I want – what motivates my actions is my love for the Father – and to seek to understand and live my life by His definition of what love is because that is Who He is.

One of the greatest gifts we now have is His Spirit, which is freely given to those who genuinely ask but the ability to know who is genuinely asking is not mine to judge. There are certain indicators but ultimately only the Father knows the heart. We are to love one another and leave the judging to God. So please stop calling me a “pagan” and I'll try to not imply that you are a judaizer – can we keep our eyes focused on Jesus/Yeshua and let Him complete the work He has begun in each us.

Keep your heart with all vigilance; for from it flow the springs of life. (Prov 4:23)

A number of years ago, I felt the Lord making this a lesson for me - that my tendency toward being a “people pleaser” was not healthy and I needed to establish boundaries.  I had to learn that just because someone is hurting it does not give them the right to hurt me in return.  As a follower of Jesus and a woman, there is this tendency to lay down your rights for another - to think more highly of others than yourself.  But there’s a right way of doing so and it involves the practice of humility while at the same time we are to guard our hearts.  You see, He has given me a new heart, a heart in which His Spirit dwells. It is very precious and needs to be cherished and protected.

I remember a picture which demonstrates what I’m trying to say.  There’s a person, on a hill, reaching down to help someone in a pit.  Unless that person who is reaching down is holding onto something (or Someone) the person in the pit will just pull them down with them.

There is this tension that exists and learning how to live in that tension is why I so desperately cling to Jesus.  He took on human flesh, became like us. Perfect in His humanity because He never let go of the Father.  His will, His purpose was that of the Father’s.  He reached out, continues to reach out, but never lets go of His identity with the Father. His heart was always the Father’s heart. And this is my desire - that the Father's heart would continue to dwell in me.

Know before Whom you stand.

I came across this scripture the other day and found myself filled with such wonder.

To know Him as Sovereign Lord, creator and sustainer of life – Who is holy, just and pure and also the One who wants us to know Him as Abba, intimately and personally, Who loves us with an unending love.

As always, there is that holy tension – where two seemingly opposites are bound together. He really does hold all things together, I know He holds me together and close to His heart – what a marvelous mystery.

Ramblings

As someone who is familiar with and loves our Hebraic roots, I can't help but see some similarities between the season of Elul and the season of Lent – both are time of reflection and repentance in preparation for very significant dates – Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, when sins are forgiven (for another year) and Passover and the Resurrection Day, where sin is dealt with permanently. Both are commemorative, recalling historical events with spiritual significance. Both have their “traditions” and both can be offered to God and used by Him in drawing us closer to Him.

I guess, one of the reasons I've been looking at this is why there always seems to be “sides” to things or that one is somehow better than the other. Can't there somehow be a sameness in purpose yet difference in method– like two sides of a coin – the purpose of the coin is the same which ever side is up.

For a number of years I have been drawn to Hebraic roots. There is a richness and depth it brings that is both exciting and comforting. But I don't feel compelled to “observe” Sabbath or the Feast Days – to have an awareness, yes but I don't see the observance as necessary. (I don't see observing Lent as necessary either). 

 

I just want to follow Jesus, God's One and Only Son – it is by that name I came to know Him as the One who paid the price for me, the One to whom I belong, the One to whom I cling. In many ways my faith is very simple – while I find doctrines and teachings beneficial, (although I probably spend way to much “head-time” studying them) – it is my relationship with Him and others that I find of the most importance.

To my Messianic friends, I applaud you – and thoroughly enjoy all that I have learned through you and am so grateful that you are a part of my life. To those friends within the church – no matter which branch you happen to be in – I am grateful too for your presence in my life and how many times the Lord has revealed His love through you. God is so much greater than what we know and I can't wait to spend eternity getting to know Him (and all of you) better.

 

Shalom and God's peace be with you!

Sins committed without thinking or without knowledge.

Do I seek and respect Godly counsel so I do not walk in ignorance of His Ways? Or do I love the traditions of men more then I love to walk in obedience to God?

FATHER, as I was reading this morning, the author of this devotion seemed to speak against Christian “traditions” and those who do not celebrate the Feasts, observe Sabbath or keep Your Laws. I found myself becoming somewhat annoyed by their attitude.  It just seems like it’s a Jesus PLUS perspective or another approach to “our part and Your part” (when is enough enough?) – I really don’t think I’ll ever fully understand.  Please show me what is true, what is real, what is it I need to see and do in this.  The last thing I want to do is hold to a tradition of man and miss You in the process.  Let Your Spirit guide me, let me hear and understand and obey His lead.  I can’t do this on my own, don’t want to even try.

from hardness of heart

ABBA, forgive me for my own hardness of heart.  In an effort to not “feel” hurt or pain, I’ve built a wall around my heart. I don’t believe it was in rebellion or intentionally a rejection of You – but it gets in the way and I am truly sorry and humbly ask that You will help me to tear it down. There is a balance or an appropriate way to protect my heart – but it’s allowing You to be my defender; rather than a wall, to provide a fence to keep out the things that could damage my heart, while allowing those things that will cause me to be more like Jesus to come through . . . and only You know which is which. More of You, Lord and less of me.

Back to reality

ABBA Father, I’m having a melt-down.  After a week away – rested yet not at rest.  I am so sorry that I let the cares of life rob me of the joy that You give.  I see it as a sin against You, because it reveals a lack of trust . . . a fearfulness that something bad will happen and “I” won’t be able to handle it . . . as if “I” can really handle anything on my own.  I feel so out of control and it scares me.  I don’t want to feel this way, but that’s all it is – a feeling.  There’s this dialog in my head – that I somehow don’t measure up – which in truth I don’t – a feeling of inadequacy . . . again, feelings.  Show me what I need to learn from this, use this to draw me closer to You, make a change in me to be more in love with You, to be more in Your will, centered and steadied in You. 

I am sorry and I am grateful, that once again -  You have come to my rescue, Your peace that passes understanding does sustain me, Your joy does fill me and Your presence is so much more than I could ever hope for – just knowing that You are near, that You are here with me, is more than enough for what ever may come my way.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psa. 16:11)

It's personal

Abba, FATHER, how utterly amazing You are and how blessed I am to be Your child.  Sitting here this morning, thinking about so many different and random things – and then recalling the scene at the end of John’s gospel.   How You asked Peter twice, “do you love me” and Peter’s answer “yes, Lord, I like You” and then You asking “Peter, do You like me” . . . You knew he couldn’t rise up to Your level of love, Your agape for him and so You came down to his level and met him where he was – in his humility and his shame over his denial of You . . . in his brokenness.   

And then recalling how You came to me, when I couldn’t seem to rise up to You, You came down to me and met me where I was – and loved me, in spite of my own weakness and brokenness.  There are no words, my precious Lord, my dearest friend – only a heart filled with a desire to worship and adore You.

Musings on church history

"As I have been talking about early church history (2nd and 3rd century) we do see a good bit of that confusion. But these people were pioneers, leading the way in doing the great work of defending the faith, stating the faith, and living the faith. We honor them for that even though they made many mistakes. It was a time of productive confusion. . .The church had to try to decide what really is allowable, what is true and what is not. Gradually there was an answer to that question. We call that answer “orthodoxy,” the orthodox position of the church. “Orthodoxy” means “right belief.” And we call everything else heresies. Originally that word simply meant “an opinion,” “a party,” or “group.” But eventually it came to mean something that is wrong, something that is opposed to true teaching."

This is a quote from a study on church history I’m reading.  It’s interesting to me that through out much of the church’s history there have been areas of division, points on which two (or more) sides can’t seem to agree.  

I do appreciate all those who wrestled with these issues and believe it was necessary to establish parameters of truth. 

I just sometimes wonder if the church, like the rabbinical Jews, spent too much time focusing on “doctrine” (which means teaching, much like the word torah) and not enough on just following Jesus.  We seem to like well defined “rules” that we can point to and say this is right and this is wrong.  If we really understand loving the Father, loving one another and living loved, it just seems we wouldn’t need to be so concerned with defining it.

Augustine is attributed with saying “"In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity.”  I guess the question has always been, what are the “essentials”.  I think that’s a reason why the Father gives us His Spirit, so that we can discern what is essential and leave the rest in His hands. 

Morning musings and random thoughts . . .

FATHER, thinking this morning about obedience, the law – morally and ritually – Old and New, one and the same, mysteries revealed – being “in Christ”.  What does obedience look like to You, how do You define it? Shadows and types of things to come. To do the will of Him who sent me. Obedience is not the “cause” of our salvation but the “result” of it and should flow from our new lives hidden in You before the foundations of this world.  Confess with your mouth and believe with your heart – and you shall be saved.  Trust and obey – these are so closely connected as to be the sides of the same coin.  I think the problem comes when we start trying to emphasize one over the other as necessary for, when both are the result of – Your grace freely given to those who call upon Your name.

Your Holy Spirit, set as a seal upon our hearts, indwelling us, abiding in us so that we can abide in You – to know and to be known by You, one by one, each individually and uniquely belonging to You – one of many, a part of the whole, Your body. What a marvelous mystery.

To the praise of God’s glory

FATHER, it’s not something You need, or even require or a way of manipulation . . . it’s simply because of the great and awesome things You have done and continue to do – it’s because of the great and awesome God that You are.  I don’t know that I will ever be able to grasp or fully understand the depth and breadth of Who You are, my brain just isn’t capable of such wonder.  I am reminded of my hearts desire – To make knowing and enjoying You the passionate pursuit of my life.  This is my hearts desire and I’m sorry and my heart is grieved when I lose sight of this, of You.  I just want more of You and less of me. 

I want Yours to be the voice I hear, the voice I listen to and obey.  Forgive me for listening to a critical spirit, which demands and expects more of others, that takes offense over things that are not really offendable or that judges in areas where love should be applied.  Rather than arguing help me to really listen and hear.  Where there is disagreement – show me how to choose ways of maintaining relationship, of building bridges rather than walls . . . to think more of others than of myself.  I want these things, FATHER and I know that the desire to see them in my life comes from You and that You will complete what You have begun in me. Thank You that I belong to You – always and forever more – I am Yours!

In His hands

ABBA FATHER, I’m not sure just “where” I am at the moment, but do believe I’m close to Your heart and that Your hand, Your blessing rests upon me.  I desire to know You and to be known by You – starting in the depth of me and moving out into every part of me and my life.  I struggle, with feelings of unworthiness – which in part come from a belief that I’m not “doing” enough with all that I have been given, that I’m not being a “good” steward.  I know that I am not saved by anything I do – but how I live my life is a reflection of my relationship with You, it’s a testimony of Who You are and I don’t want to disappoint You in any way.  I feel so small and insignificant in Your kingdom.  Perhaps that is my part . . . and if so, that’s okay with me.  I just want to be the best “me” I can be for You and for Your glory.  I am trusting that You will complete the work You have begun in me.

. . . and in the morning my prayer comes before You. (Psa 88:13)

I am an early riser and usually get up before my alarm goes off.  This morning, however, the alarm got me up and I found that I really would have preferred to just go back to sleep.  I couldn’t understand why I felt so tired - But as is my routine, I got up, let the dogs out, made a pot of coffee and began my morning quiet time.  At one point, after my first cup of coffee, I looked up and noticed the time – it said 4:30 . . . but that can’t be right, that’s too early, even for me.  Then I remembered that I had taken my Sunday afternoon nap the day before and had forgotten to re-set the alarm . . . and so here I am.  Its okay though - a little extra quiet time with my Father is always worth it!

Your Spirit in me

FATHER, I want to do what is right, pleasing and acceptable in Your sight. I know I’ve blown it – have chosen my way rather than Yours, have sinned against You in thought, word and deed – overstepping the boundaries that You have established. I also know that You forgive, that You are merciful and gracious – far beyond anything I deserve or could even hope for. But because of Who You are – I have hope and assurance that You will accomplish and bring to completion the work You have begun in me. Knowing what is right and true is not enough but with this knowledge must come action, a change of heart, mind and soul. This can only come through Your indwelling Spirit and – somehow – my cooperation with His working in me. It’s a mystery that I’m not sure I will ever fully understand on this side of eternity. All I know is that I can trust You to finish what You have begun; that I can rest in this knowledge and that is enough – more than enough for me.

Routines and interruptions

The church I now attend is not liturgical, so last night I planned to attend a Good Friday service with a friend at a different church. Growing up in a liturgical church, the Good Friday service was part of the yearly routines that make up the church seasons and was always a special time. As it turns out, we arrived just as the service was ending. The time on the web-site had been wrong. In leaving, several folks mentioned how meaningful the service had been and you could tell that our Father had been speaking. So why did I have to miss out? But the truth is, I didn’t. As I had been driving in I had been very much aware of the clouds, dark and foreboding, the wind was blowing and that sense of a storm brewing – it reminded me of what that day must have been like. Through out the day I had been aware of the significance of that day – and that what was accomplished on that day is done, for all time – it’s finished and I am free. As I sit here this morning I see how our Father is ALWAYS speaking, if we just learn to listen – He speaks in the routines and in the interruptions of life. He speaks in the ordinary and in the extraordinary and is not limited by anything except a heart that refuses to listen. I’m listening Lord!

A reflection

My internet has been down, which I use in my morning quiet times, so recently I've been going back and reading through some of my old journals. I came across the following and thought I'd post it here.

We just recently went to see Prince Caspian and there was a scene that has stayed with me. Early on in the movie Lucy sees Aslan and wants to go to him. She tries to convince the others but they don’t believe her and choose a different path. Much later on she finally meets with Aslan and she says “I knew it was you” and he asks “then why didn’t you come to me?” There’s a pause and she simply says “I’m sorry” and the scene moves on. I just think of all the times when I know it’s Him and for whatever reason I don’t go to Him. When I finally do, He’s always there and we move on. I can never know what might have been but I can know that my future is secure with Him. I just don’t want to miss Him when He calls.

A bump on the head and an answer to prayer

I had started to work on a study in Philippians and wanted to look up some background information in Halley’s but couldn’t seem to locate it in my bookshelf. Thinking it might be on the very bottom shelf, I got down on my hands and knees to take a look. (Not an easy task). Not seeing it there, I lifted my head and in the process hit it on a the glass shelf covering – becoming somewhat annoyed I looked up at the shelf and there was the Halley’s, hidden under some papers. I had to laugh at how God got my attention and answered my prayer.

the Love Dare journal

It’s been a meaningful and insightful journey, one I need to re-visit again. Taking the focus off of me has not been easy, my flesh resists and the enemy continues to nip at my heels BUT greater is He Who is in me and I will move forward in His grace and in His love. Although my life is not suddenly perfect nor what I thought it should be - I do see that I have a choice as to how I face each day. I can surrender to His will and seek Him or I can resist and try and to do things on my own. I much prefer the former - even if at times I may not like where He leads. I know that He has only my best interest in His heart. I believe this and I know that He is faithful and true and can be trusted ALWAYS and in all things. To love so unconditionally can not happen in the human heart, I know it can’t happen in mine – I need His heart. Fortunately that is His desire for me.

An old Bible story

One of my life verses has always been Isa 30:15a “In returning and rest shall you be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.” Each word throughout the years has come to mean something special, a promise from my Father of a relationship that will never end. He has brought this verse to mind many times and in many ways.

Well - in the teaching this morning, Kent talked about two Bibles – one was hardly used, the other old and worn. It got me thinking of my very first Bible that was given to me by my Grandmother when I was 19 – an ol’ King James, some what tattered but still full of the good stuff! I pulled it out from its shelf and as I was thumbing through it just happened that I opened it up to – you guessed it – Isaiah 30:15. And there it was underlined and highlighted in yellow. It was His reminder to me of that personal, one on one, intimate and real relationship we share. No one knows me like He does and how wonderful and utterly amazing to be known by Him.

He who is in me is greater than he who is in this world.

I got frustrated yesterday over a lot of little things. It just seemed endless and I’m pretty sure was spiritual attack. At home, I got testy with a centurylink lady, who managed to defuse my anger rather quickly – (I pray You will bless her for her efforts). I feel a heaviness, especially in Brant and I know it’s because of the pressures at work. I’ve tried not to take out my frustration on him or to take his personally. In some ways I feel like I’m treading water and just barely able to keep from sinking BUT I am still standing or perhaps it would be better to say that You are holding me up. How can I thank You, how can I honor You. I am trusting You and it feels so good to know that You are with me, that You are for me and that whatever comes my way, must first come through You. Thank You that You are my Abba, Father, my precious redeemer and my closest friend.

Morning musings

Reading in Ex 18 – and came across Eliezer, Moses' second son. The name means “God is help” or the long version of “the God of my father (was) my help, and delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh”. There are a number of Eliezer's mentioned through out the OT and an interesting group of men. The one that caught my attention was Abraham's “servant” whom Abraham sent to a foreign country to get his son a bride. Sound familiar?

Eliezer is comprised of two words. El, usually meaning God and ezer which means help, succor, or one who helps. The first mention of the word ezer is in Genesis, where it is used to describe Eve as Adam's ezer. (The word “meet” is often added, but doesn't appear to be in the original text). She - in a sense – completed him (Adam) in God's purpose for humanity; she “helped” him in fulfilling this purpose. Through out the OT the word ezer is usually used in describing God as the one who is the helper – especially in the Psalms. One example: “O Israel, trust in the LORD; He (is) their help and their shield. Psa 155:9', There are more.

I can't help (excuse the play on words) but think of “The Helper”, God the Holy Spirit, Who is always there to help and to guide us and to walk with us and to reveal to us the plans and purposes of God. And so, as a woman, a daughter of Eve, I find great joy in knowing the purpose of the Father was that I would be a help, one who helps in completing and fulfilling the plans and purposes of our loving and gracious Father. Of course, this is just my own perspective and not necessarily those of Management :)

Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed. (Psa 85:9-10)

ABBA, FATHER, The theme this morning seems to be finding those things held in common – rather than focusing on things that divide; learning to build bridges rather than walls; finding that connection between justice and mercy (which is the Cross) – To find unity in the midst of differences; to find balance.

However, there is no compromise between truth and a lie – some things are either true or their not. Jesus is truth – yet within His body there are different perspectives on how truth is defined, some more broad than others. I was listening to a conversation this morning between Rob Bell and Andrian Warnock and their perspectives on hell. The bottom line revolved around their differences regarding eternal torment vs annihilation. This is one of those “truths” I’ve often struggle with myself. The traditional view is eternal torment. . . but I can see the argument for the other as well. Then there is the Calvinism v. Arminianism – or - once saved always saved v. losing one’s salvation. What is true faith? There are a number of these areas. When do these differences become a heresy? Or apostasy?

FATHER, I don’t have the answer and I’m not even sure I fully understand the question but all I do know is that I can trust You and know that You have this all worked out to perfection and whether or not I understand is really not what You’re looking for – but rather that I trust You . . . completely, without reservation. I know that You are loving and that You are just . . . and that is enough for me.

Morning musings

Abba – Several things this morning. Political comments on fb and how divided this country is – both “sides” accusing the other of all the woes that seem so prevalent today, everyone seems so angry, so convinced that they’re right. I just want to understand the truth, to do what is right and to extend grace to others.

I was thinking too about our perceptions – the case that Brant has - a woman accused of stealing and the money being found in her purse. On the surface it seems pretty obvious, but then you look a little deeper into some of the facts and it becomes less clear – perhaps she really was framed.

And then reading about the Exodus plagues – the one of darkness. It’s the same word as in the beginning. Thinking about the dementor character in the Harry Potter books – that their presence sucks out all the joy – the presence of evil is real and covers itself in darkness and deception. We need Your light to shine into our darkness – I know I do. More and more, Jesus, I see Your word as truth and life and light and joy. When the trials of this life come help me to see them through Your Word with my eyes firmly planted on You. There is no truth apart from You.

(The reference to the Harry Potter books is not meant as an endorsement but only as observation)

Enoch was pleasing to God. . . . Noah found favor in God’s eyes.

Father, I feel dull this morning, perhaps because I’m tired, perhaps because I’ve fallen, perhaps because I’ve allowed myself to get distracted . . . I seem to have a hard time staying focused, my mind just can’t seem to connect, to hold on. . . It’s times like this, when Your presence seems far away, that I need You the most. Reading about Moses this morning. Some of the commentaries seem to believe You were not pleased with his questioning You about Your name and his reluctance to “go” for You . . . yet You choose him anyway.

What is it Lord, that brings You pleasure? I know we/I can not please You without faith – without trusting in You, believing in You, turning towards You with all our heart, mind, strength and soul. I want to please You and there are times when I feel so connected to You, so embraced by You, so much a part of You and You in me . . . but at the moment I just don’t know what I feel. I know our relationship is not based on how I feel - Thank You for that!!! - but I like the feeling.

Okay, I don’t need the feeling, I need the faith to continue, the assurance that no matter what I may “feel” You are faithful and true and that I belong to You – everything else is secondary to that - and of that I am sure!!!

More of You, Lord and less of me.

“What has Jesus done for you recently?”

I was listening to a teaching the other day and the speaker asked “what has Jesus done for you recently?” It’s a good question and one we should be expecting and looking for an answer to as those who carry His Name. The speaker's intention was not to focus on us (what's in it for me) but on Jesus (what an awesome Lord He is).

This morning I was doing some maintenance on my computer with a new program and it took much longer than I had anticipated (hours versus minutes). I do most of my quiet time and study on-line, I read scripture, look up words, journal, read commentaries, etc – you get the idea, so I was initially miffed for the intrusion into my normal routine. And then it occurred to me that I could do my daily readings with out the computer – and so I did. I also realized I have numerous resource books waiting patiently for me to use just an arms reach away, and so I pulled several out and had a wonderful time of discovery and just being aware of His presence in a familiar and yet unfamiliar way. Even my prayer time seemed less distracted and more focused on Him.

So what has Jesus done for me recently? He’s caused me to realize how much He desires to be available to me, to all us who carry His name and how strong the desire to be with Him is within me.

He just gets better and better and I am continually amazed!

“However, when a person has God living within them, there is a desire to keep the commandments of God and thereby please the Lord.”

This line was from a devotional I read this morning and the following are some thoughts that resulted from it. The word “desire” is a key in discerning God’s will. The will of God is revealed to us in His commandments, not just the form – but the substance, which is summed up in loving God and loving our neighbor. His word (His will revealed) becomes the desire of our hearts, we find delight in it, are satisfied by it and it brings peace and wholeness as we grow in it. Jesus is the living Word made flesh – and His Spirit gives life to the written word. The combination of His Spirit and His word are what transform our lives – our hearts and our minds – so that we now desire His will rather than our own.

At this point in my journey, I believe we often become too distracted on specifics – do I buy this, do I take this job, etc – and can neglect His broader will, which is simply to trust Him. It’s not that He doesn’t care about the day to day decisions, He does, but our decisions are not going to hinder His perfect will. I think what hinders Him, if that’s really possible, is when we fail to trust Him.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed (anchored) on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.

I was feeling somewhat overwhelmed yesterday, and the “feeling” still lingered this morning. I was looking at scripture for the remedy and Isaiah 26:3 came to mind. A commentary I read mentioned “If I'm feeling overwhelmed, then I've let my heart and mind drift from God. I've fastened my attention on my problems rather than my Lord. . . Start praising God for His faithfulness and his loving kindness for us. If we divert our focus away from our problems and onto Him, the Lord Himself will reward our faith and give us His perfect peace. . . Give up your "right" to be angry about your circumstances. Approach the Lord as a hurting child seeking a comforting parent. And the God of peace will make His love real for you.” This is so true, yet so easily forgotten. Life is so full of distractions – but He is faithful and will provide as we continue to trust in Him.

The writer also says “while His love is unconditional, His blessings are usually conditional -- they require some small effort on our part to qualify for something too wonderful for us to ever achieve own our own.” In the Isaiah scripture the blessing is perfect peace. In the Hebrew, it's "shalom shalom" -- the normal word for peace repeated for emphasis, to show that this is something quite special.

Thoughts and prayers for the new year.

Father, I am just so grateful for the many ways I see You working and speaking into my life. Starting with Passion 2012; the reading plan for this year - with some structure and some freedom; the desire to know and walk in Your will and the joy of discovery; finding my satisfaction in You; understanding, learning, growing in the motive of my heart to do whatever I do in a way that honors and glorifies You – this is what Jesus did. I’m just so excited, Lord, knowing that each day I will be drawing closer to You, my sweet Lord, drawing closer to Jesus, knowing Him is a deeper way, rejoicing in Him, living in Him and Him in me. I am just so blessed.

And Father, I pray that this journey that we are on will over flow with Your grace and love towards those around me, those whom You bring into my life, that they might see You. This is still my prayer, Lord – more of You and less of me.