Don’t embarrass a guest or your children.

In the reading this morning the author tells the story of a dinner where one of the guests knocked over a glass of red wine, spilling it on the white tablecloth.  The host, in seeing what happened, knocked the leg of the table which caused his wine to spill as well.  At which point the host said, “There must be something wrong with this table.  I’ll need to see about getting it fixed”.  Basically, accidents happen, and rather than express anger perhaps we should show concern for the other. (Book of Jewish Values)

This reminded of a time, I don’t remember the details, but Joshua as a young child did something which resulted in something breaking, a dish perhaps.  He felt really bad about it and told his grandmother how sorry he was, that it had been an accident. He certainly didn't mean for it to happen.  I remember her saying “accidents don’t just happen, they are caused.  If you hadn’t been careless this wouldn’t have happened.” 

While there was truth in her statement, when it was said in an unloving and critical way, I believe it did more harm than good.  It’s like having knowledge but not having the wisdom to use it.  Knowledge  is a good thing but knowing how to apply it requires wisdom. Knowing that a tomato is a fruit is knowledge, knowing not to put it in a fruit salad is wisdom.

And if “being right” condemns someone else then maybe we should rethink our response. 

How to be both just and merciful.  How fortunate that our God is both.