A memory

Several times lately I have been reminded of a time, a long time ago, when I hit the wall and broke down in tears, deep soul wrenching tears as I sat on the floor of the chapel at Holy Comforter Church.  I remember one of the things I was aware of was to avoid false Jesuses.  I became aware that many would “come in His name” but there is only One true Jesus and I wanted desperately to make sure He was the one I followed. 

I remember too at that moment recalling a scene in Hinds Feet, where Much Afraid is climbing the mountain, alone. It’s storming around her and she’s clinging to the cleft in the rock.  The Shepherd comes to her and asks something like – what if all the promises weren’t true, would you still follow me?  And her response is “yes” and I realized that would be my response as well.  Because He is so much more that the promises.  He is love and all that is good and right, it’s not about what He gives, but Who He is.

I know I’m not all that He has called me to be, at least not yet, but I am so confident in His love that I can keep climbing.  I have come to know that His Spirit is strong in me – that has nothing to do with me but all because of Him.  I don’t know why He has chosen me, there are so many who are so much “bigger” than I am, so much “more” than I am but that doesn’t seem to matter to Him – He just loves me and I am so very grateful and will continue to rejoice in His amazing love.