FATHER, I’m reading an article on Beautifying the Commandments and it speaks of how the Jews saw the Mitzvahs (commandments) as “opportunities to do something good that You, God, had told them to do – NOT a burdensome regulations. This got me thinking about the cloud in the desert – on the one side, Israel saw it as good, for it provided protections, but to the Egyptian it presented a threat. In Romans there is much talk about the law and that it does appear to be burdensome, but again I think it’s how we see it, our perspective. It was never meant to save us, but to show us our need for a Savior. That there is good available in every circumstance comes when we are able to trust You, completely and without reservation, when our expectations are molded by Your grace. (If our expectation is that the law will save us, then it becomes the means of condemnation. If however, we see it as “opportunities” to show our love to You, then it can become a means of grace. Jesus met the legal requirements of the Law and paid the price for our sin. Through His resurrection, we are now free from it’s burden, from its condemnation – free to live in fellowship and communion with Him - forever. Obedience is no longer a “requirement” but a “desirement”) When we look to You as the provider of our peace and well being, the One who holds us in Your hands and near to Your heart, our rest and our security are in You.

The Tabernacle

FATHER, This morning reading about the construction of the tabernacle, the ark and all the furnishings and utensils, it’s curious to me that the whole creation of the world was covered by two chapters and yet the description of and then the building of Your tabernacle – in great detail -covers several chapters. This was where You would dwell with Your people, where they could – through the High Priest and on the day of Atonement – come into Your presence. It would seem that this is important, established by the witness of two (as You have it recorded two times). This is where our focus should be - on You. Creation itself is not as important as Your plan of redemption. We are – in Jesus - new creations, and Your dwelling is now within us – individually, personally, intimately – and we can come into Your presence by simply turning to You, seeking You and resting in You. It is all more than I can fully understand or appreciate, but I’m just so grateful that You have called me and that I am Yours!

He holds the future

Thank You ABBA. This morning I have felt a heaviness – bringing Amber for the surgery to remove the tumor on her shoulder, her seeming not quite herself and then being asked IF her heart should stop, what do I want them to do – or not do. Knowing that she is going to die, but not knowing when or what form it will take. My prayer yesterday was that You would take her – because I don’t want to see her suffer and I don’t want to have to make the decision - at some point in the future - to “put her down”

Anyway, as I was sitting here in the lobby the intake tech came to let me know that there was a form they had forgotten to have me sign. As I was signing it he made the comment that he had noticed earlier that I was using the BlueletterBible and that he really liked it and thought it was a great study tool – to which I agreed. It was just that little sign to me that everything is in Your hands, that nothing goes unnoticed, that Your presence is all around – in the air we breathe and indwelling in Your children, even when we’re unaware and not even looking for it. I just know that what ever the future may hold, that You hold the future and I can rest and be at peace in that knowledge.

A divided heart

But all the while, Balaam's heart was divided - he was infatuated with the idea of getting rich. And although he couldn't curse in the name of God, he did get an idea: If Baw-LAWK could put a tumbling block in front of the Israelites, then God Himself would be forced to curse them. (Ron Daniels 2 Peter 2:10)

FATHER, reading about Balaam’s “divided heart” really struck a nerve in me. Knowing what Your will is and looking for a way around it because my will wants what it wants. Choosing - because ultimately it is a choice - wrongly. I can choose correctly 99 times but that 1 wrong choice haunts me and the enemy starts taunting me. It just goes to show, how much I need You; Your grace and tender mercies, because I can NOT make it on my own. The persevering is continuing on, even when I stumble, knowing You are with me, holding me, loving me, forgiving me, transforming me, completing the work You have begun in me. I am amazed and humbled and so very, very grateful.

. . . not loss of being but loss of well being.

FATHER, I’m back in 2 Peter and reading about false teachers and destructive heresies, which lead to “the loss of well being, not being”.  I had to stop and think about this as it describes what separation from You is like  -  death, but not annihilation. You have given me that sense of “well being” that seems to transcend the difficulties and hard places in my life; that anchor that hold me and steadies me in the storms.  I don’t totally understand why it’s this way, I’m just so grateful that it’s there – that quiet confidence of knowing that everything is going to be alright.  That “well being” is because I know that You are with me – that I am never alone, and what ever comes, we (You and I) will get through it.  I know sometimes I get a little shaky when I start the “what if”s – and I’m really sorry I allow myself to go there.  But You always come and calm me, strengthen me, allow me to cry as You wrap Your arms around me and speak peace and quiet to my soul. You are so amazing, Your goodness and faithfulness. . . the more I seek You, the more I find You and the more I find You the more I love You. The greatest joy in my life is loving and being loved by YOU!

Listening

It’s interesting – I had a good friend called me up yesterday to say she just needed someone to “listen” to her,  and so we met after work and she talked about a situation that was causing her pain and I basically just listened – a nod hear, a sigh there, mostly just being with her.  It was the second time this week that I’ve been called upon to be a listener.  Yet for me, I find it hard to be the one listened to, which is why I think I spend so much time journaling and writing to my Father, my Abba.  Even then it takes time for me to really understand what it is I want to say that conveys what’s really going on inside.  It has to do with being honest and truthful with myself first and others second (Father already knows the truth about me but loves me anyway).    I’m not sure what my point is or if I even have a point, but these conversations cause me to look more deeply at my life and in so doing, help me to see more and more my need to surrender and rest in Him. . . and listen.