Thoughts and prayers for the new year.

Father, I am just so grateful for the many ways I see You working and speaking into my life. Starting with Passion 2012; the reading plan for this year - with some structure and some freedom; the desire to know and walk in Your will and the joy of discovery; finding my satisfaction in You; understanding, learning, growing in the motive of my heart to do whatever I do in a way that honors and glorifies You – this is what Jesus did. I’m just so excited, Lord, knowing that each day I will be drawing closer to You, my sweet Lord, drawing closer to Jesus, knowing Him is a deeper way, rejoicing in Him, living in Him and Him in me. I am just so blessed.

And Father, I pray that this journey that we are on will over flow with Your grace and love towards those around me, those whom You bring into my life, that they might see You. This is still my prayer, Lord – more of You and less of me.

To keep my eyes on You.

It’s been a while since I’ve written, but I know that You have been with me, leading me and listening. Reading today from a blog about the Goliath in the blogger’s life and realizing that we all have at least one in our lives – or Paul’s thorn – those things which humble us and at times defeat us. Perhaps it is how we see them – as enemies or opportunities. I sometimes feel so helpless and weak and yet that is not Your purpose for me – but it takes Your Spirit to really make me strong. Kent spoke to this yesterday, and I need to daily remind myself that although I can do nothing without You, I can do what You have purposed for me to do because You will supply - You have supplied what is needed to accomplish Your call on and in my life. There is a part that I play, an effort on my part to co-operate, to allow You to work through me. I think sometimes I think to much, try to hard to figure it all out, to understand the why instead of just trusting You to know what and how and when and all the other little details. I can rest in You, I don’t have to be afraid, You will provide, You will finish what You have started. To keep my eyes on You, to look beyond the Goliath that is facing me, and keep my eyes on You.

I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. (Psalm 16:8)

Significance and capacity

Several things have come to my attention recently. One a conversation with and a paper a friend shared about significance and how ours is found in our desire to glorify God and comes as a result of our intimacy with God, an intimacy He calls each of us to enter into through Jesus. My friend quotes “It is very obvious in the way God originally created us that he made us with the capacity to be intimate with him.” Radical Reliance, Joe Stowell.

And there is the second thing that caught my attention – our capacity. Today Kent, our pastor, mentioned it in regards to each one having (or being given) a certain capacity to love. In Matt 25, in the parable of the talents, he equated the talent with ones capacity to love – to love God, in a way defined by Him and to love our neighbor as ourselves. The principle seems to be that the more we are able to return this love, the more love we will have to give (the more love we will have to draw from). It’s like God has invested in us a certain capacity to love and is patiently waiting to see what kind of return He will get from His investment – the more we are able to increase His return, the more He is glorified and the more our joy becomes complete.

It's a choice

The shock of being exposed was too much for Ananias. For many Christians in compromise, their greatest fear is not in sinning itself, but in being found out. (from commentary on Acts 5)

FATHER, there is fear of having one’s sins exposed, to others – but You know them already. The commentaries say that Ananias’ sins were greed and pride – but sin - of any kind - is sin and seems to be “conceived within the heart of man”. The enemy may exert influence, but we make the choice. FATHER, help me to be aware of my own sin, to recognize when it is conceived within my heart, and grant me the grace and power to turn from it and to turn towards You; I want to choose rightly, Lord. I want to always choose YOU!

She has done this for the day of My burial (John 12:4-8)

Mary knew that Jesus was going to die, and so she was compelled to offer this extravagant gift of devotion to Jesus. Mary had more insight than others because she spent time at the feet of Jesus. This was the moment at which Jesus was symbolically set apart for burial by one who really understood what was happening.

JESUS, I have always loved this story and want to be like Mary. Her devotion was so remarkable; her passion, her humility and her insight into Who You are. I can only imagine the look of love You must have shown to her at this moment – a connection that was forever made, an understanding deep within the heart of the Lover of our souls and the one loved. An eternal moment captured in time. Thank You, for allowing me to witness and participate in such tenderness and intimacy.

He became very sorrowful, for he was very rich: (Luke 18:23)

The man’s riches were an anchor dragging down his soul, and because he was very rich, the anchor was very heavy. . . Jesus’ purpose wasn’t to make the man sad; but he could only be happy by doing what Jesus told him to do.

FATHER, I see the truth here, that we can only know real joy in doing what You desire for us to do, to love You and surrender all that we have, all that we are – to You. It means trusting You completely – even when faced with trials and hardships – knowing that Your love and grace are greater and more to be desired than anything this world could possibly offer. It means letting go of whatever we are holding on to and falling into Your loving embrace, where there is peace and an abundance of unspeakable joy.

A leper's story

And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, "Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean." (Matt 8:2)

This reminds me of the time in my life when I suffered from psoriasis, which was confirmed by a physician. It was a stressful time and I believe my anxiety manifested itself in this disease of the skin, which was quite visible and covered large areas of my face, body and hands. After suffering with this for quite some time, I had come to a place where I had accepted that this was “how it was going to be”, had made my peace with it, so to speak. It was rather humbling, but then I guess I needed to be humbled.

I remember clearly a day at church a friend, upon seeing me, joking cried out “leper, unclean . . .” but then he wrapped his arms around me and prayed for Jesus to heal me . . . and He did.

I am still humbled, not by anything in me but by His love for me. My desire is to make knowing and rejoicing in Him the passionate pursuit of my life.