A morning prayer

ABBA, FATHER – sitting here, thinking, remembering . . . last night at group, the thought of how “rock solid” my relationship is with You – not because of me but all because of You, Your calling me to be Your own and how secure I am in You. It’s the “others” that I seem to struggle with and sitting here just now I thought it’s others that hurt me. Relationship with others is at times very painful and challenging – because they can not meet the need in me, only You can fill that void. And so, FATHER, I ask You to fill me with Your presence, let Your Spirit overflow within so that You can reach out and touch those whom You have placed in my life; let me live and respond to others from that place of abundance, where You are my all and all. More of You, Lord, and less of me.

My Father's eyes

ABBA FATHER, We’re home from the mountains and I thank You for the time away, to be still, to be quiet and to rest from all the day to day events that seem to so fill my time. As I sit here this morning, I’m remembering part of a teaching I listened to and a scene from a movie – that seem to run together. The movie was 28 Days with Sandra Bullock, who is in re-hab. The scene is where she and her sister in the film are sharing a moment. Her sister shares how she has always felt small in comparison to Sandra’s character, how Sandra’s character always seemed “bigger” than life.

The teaching dealt with the “Why” in why do bad things happen. The teacher mentions the scene in Luke 13. The crowd is asking why the tower of Siloam fell on certain people and not on others. Was it because of their sin was greater? Jesus says no – but unless you repent, the same thing could happen to you. Later in the teaching he brings up Peter’s question, after Jesus’ resurrection, when Jesus tells him how he, Peter, is to die. Peter’s response is – in essence – well what about John. Jesus response is – what is that to you – You follow me.

So why do these two points come together for me? I think because I am to often distracted by what I see in others that I don’t see in myself and the word that comes to mind is a “kind of” envy, where I miss what You have for me because I’m to busy comparing myself to someone else. My focus needs to be adjusted and I need to see myself as You see me – not through my own judgments or the worlds, but through Your eyes; eyes of love and acceptance and joy. It really has nothing to do with who I am, but in “Whose” I am. It is You who gives me meaning and purpose and I delight in knowing that I belong to You. And that Lord is more that enough for me.

I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief.

ABBA FATHER, where to start. . . Kent’s teaching on faith, the kinds of faith; personal, corporate, contact and beyond-belief faith. At the end I found myself praying that You would heal my faith. Everyone has faith in something or someone. The object of that faith can be true or false. I know that You are truth. I know that You have given me a true and sincere faith; that You are the object of my faith – but I know, too, that there are areas where I need improvement, areas where I need to let go and learn to really trust You. The storms come to grow us in faith, IF we can learn to find our security, our peace SOLELY in You and not the circumstance. It’s a hard lesson to learn, which is why I so desperately need You to heal my faith, in those areas that are lacking. Steady me Lord, and cause me to stand, to rest in You.

Some thoughts about storms . . .

In the storm remember Who is in the boat, the storm will end and that He will get you to the other side.

In the storm, there is the foundation of knowing that He is with me and that He will get me through whatever may come - in this I am confident. My fears or concerns are just how He will accomplish it. I know that He will sometimes allow suffering and hardships to touch us – I believe it is also for our good, but that it can be painful and quite honestly I don’t like pain. At the same time I know that when we (He and I) have made it through the storm, that I am stronger for it, more like Him and less like me and ultimately that is my hearts desire. (The medicine may tastes bad going down, but it is useful and necessary for my healing to be complete.)

There are some lessons that can only be learned in a storm.

The Lord does provide

Abba FATHER, I come this morning with a heaviness of heart, an uncertainty, a sadness that I can’t explain. I would much rather rejoice in You. On the Jewish calendar this is a season of mourning that culminates on Tuesday. A number of tragic events occurred on that date, two being the destruction of both the 1st and 2nd Temple. Today, there’s the economy and the sad shape the world seems to be in, the unrest and anxiety that seems so pervasive. In my own little world, there are the car problems, which in the scheme of things is rather insignificant. Within me, there is restlessness, a feeling that I should be doing more, and a kind of discontentment and loneliness. I think some of it, this heaviness, is because I’m too focused on me, rather than others.

FATHER, please change my heart and my attitude. I choose to trust You and believe You will provide whatever and whenever there is a need in my life. Show me, FATHER, what I need to know, what I need to do, to honor You, to please You. I don’t want to miss You because I’m too focused on me. I want my life to have meaning, to count for something, to have significance as a witness to You. I know I will never accomplish “big” things, but please, FATHER, let those things I do be things that will last. Let me live each moment as a sacrifice of praise to You, with a heart that is full and overflowing with love and gratitude to You, the lover of my soul. Keep me, LORD, in the center of Your will, under Your wing and close to Your heart. I need You so much.

A morning prayer

Why have we fasted, and you see it not?
Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?’
Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure. (Isa 58:3)

FATHER, my reading in Isaiah (54-57), so much beauty, such amazing words of comfort and assurance, how blessed I am to be Your servant. But I must confess, it reading the above, I found a pang of guilt or conviction – that I seek to much my own pleasure rather than seeking to meet the needs of “others”.

Not that we want bad things, but that we want things to badly.

It is a matter of perspective, and I need You to change mine. You have blessed my life way more than I deserve, perhaps more than I can handle – Please FATHER, create in me that attitude of gratitude and heart for others. More of You, Lord and less of me.

Remembering

I remember a time when I was very young in the Lord. I was out of school, living on my own, and between jobs. I was in a small home Bible-study group and they had prayed for me to get a "job". Well, as it turns out my landlady had decided to paint the outside of the garage apartment I was living in. Because I was home, I ended up befriending the painter and his helper, so much so that he offered me a "job" to help him paint the building. It only lasted two days, but I saw it as God answering my prayer, in a somewhat humorous way.

Around lunch time on the second day I offered to drive to the nearest Burger King and get some burgers. My boss said that would be great, he gave me some money and off I went in my little VW bug. As I was driving I looked over and in the passenger seat, to my amazement, there sat Jesus. Now all I saw were His feet and the bottom portion of His robes, but I knew it was Him and I heard Him say - "I am with you always."

I’ll never forget that moment. I can still remember it as if it had just happened. Over the years since I have been through a lot and He has always kept His promise. I’ve know His presence in the trials, when He was all I had or when I felt I couldn’t go on. And I’ve known His presence in the good times, when my life was so full I felt I would just explode from the joy. He’s always with me, my constant companion and friend, my Lord and Savior, my Jesus.